Mindfulness & Me

I know it probably sounds like a bit of an exaggeration when I say this but mindfulness has literally saved me. Since I started practising a year or so ago, my outlook on life has changed completely. Probably not in ways that many people would notice - only those very close to me - but to me, the change is enormous. And its fantastic! Just 10-30 minutes a day, sometimes more on days off, and its improved my quality of life immensely. In an ideal world I would love everybody to practice mindfulness as it would make the world such a better place, but for now I'll settle for my friends! I'm starting mindfulness sessions with 2 of my closest friends next week and below is a write up I've done for them to try and incorporate all the brilliant-ness of mindfulness for them before we begin the practice of meditation!

Dissatisfaction with ‘What you have’ and ‘Who you are’

How and what we think, colours our feelings and experiences, loading them with ideas and concepts. When based on faulty views, it often lands us into the whirlpool of anxieties, apprehensions, imaginations and fantasies. In today’s world where people are submerged in materialism and consumerism, it is difficult to find people with properly cultivated mind and right attitude towards who they are and the life they live.

Modern Lifestyle

The problem is further compounded by the nature of today’s lifestyle. Modern life is too stressful and things move too fast for our comfort. People are pushed into a high technology and fast-paced life whether they like it or not. This certainly affects them – it demands constant adjustments and gives a feeling of being driven. This instills a sense of insecurity (fear of losing out in the race for material success, money and name) and makes them restless, generating stress and tension. Sooner or later, it begins to affect their health and well-being. Ultimately people look for relief and turn to meditation for peace, relaxation and some sense of happiness.

In the Western societies the cultural attitude is highly competitive. It demands that people constantly change the current situation, following the role model celebrities from different societal spheres and their idealized images. Once people start comparing themselves with ideals there is no way out. There is always the pressure of ‘I should be better than me’ or ‘Tomorrow must be better than today.’ The endless pursuit for ‘better’ generates the feeling that you are never good enough, no matter how hard you try. This is a life of constant craving to get better and chronic dissatisfaction. Not for a minute are you fully satisfied with who you are or what you have. Can such a mind ever feel happy or satisfied inside? Never.

While it is difficult to change society, it is possible to bring necessary changes at individual level to enjoy some peace and satisfaction. The practice of mindfulness makes it possible to maintain sanity in our highly insane world by properly cultivating the mind.

Disciplined and Cultivated Mind

A cultivated mind is a disciplined mind. It doesn’t react to what is happening around it but responds at the right time and in the right manner. It is sharp enough to recognize various feelings and emotions oozing from within and notices the flow of thinking dictated by them, but does not impulsively react to it. It is a mind which is mindful of the consequences of its actions and would refrain from all acts that create ill-will and harm themselves or others. It is a mind that knows itself fairly well and tries to operate within its capacity. In nutshell, a cultivated mind is a discerning mind that operates from insight of practical reality.

What is Mindfulness

Mindfulness is simply about being mindful of what you’re thinking and deciding where you choose to focus your attention. Ideally, one would choose to focus his or her attention towards compassion, loving-kindness, and optimism. Mindfulness is about deciding to look on the bright side and deciding to be kind to yourself and others. That’s it.

Rather than dwelling in the past or the future, mindfulness offers the art of operating in the present moment in a non-reactive and non-judgmental manner. Only in the ‘present moment’, you have the power to make changes to the situations affecting you. Nothing can be done in the future or past, as we don’t and can't live there! If you can grasp this, you have grasped the art of living.

Mindfulness is NOT...

Thinking

Imagining

Evaluating

Planning

Ruminating

Forming opinion

Escaping from reality

Mindfulness cannot be cultivated by struggle or force. It only grows by observing and accepting things as they happen, by letting go and by just settling down comfortably in the moment. Whenever attention goes astray it is mindfulness that brings the attention back. Therefore, mindfulness means having the mind and the body together in the present moment.

From the beginners’ perspective mindfulness involves two things: (1) to maintain the presence of mind in the present moment and (2) be neutral and non-judgemental towards thoughts, feelings and perceptions [everything that arises in the mind]. Below are some practical descriptions of mindfulness in different ways so that its meaning becomes clearer.

1. Mindfulness involves seeing things as they really are, not as one would like them to be. You just perceive without adding or subtracting anything. You train to see all thoughts or feelings without judgment or evaluation.

2. It is an impartial watchfulness without prejudice or bias. You merely perceive and take note. You don’t cling to good mental states and don’t avoid the bad states. You train not to form opinions or ideas.

3. Mindfulness is developing present-centeredness. It is the observation of what is happening right here and right now. It is riding the ever-flowing wave of time and staying in the present moment and watching everything from there. It is staying clear of the memories of the past or ideations of the future – no ruminating, no dreaming and no imagination.

4. Mindfulness is being ever ready to observe whatever comes up in the present moment in whatever form. It also involves letting go of the present moment as it turns past.

5. Mindfulness is a relaxed attention in which “nothing can offend”. You are surprised by nothing and shocked by nothing. You remain neutral to everything. It is a mental ability to observe without criticism or evaluation. With this ability, you see things without preference or prejudice. You suppress nothing, promote nothing. You don’t decide or take sides.

6. Mindfulness means registering experiences, but not comparing them. It does not evaluate, label, or categorize them. It is not reflection or analysis. Instead, it is a direct experience of reality as it unfolds, keeping away the thinking process. You begin to react less and respond more. It is sign of a real strong personality!

7. Mindfulness is like sitting beside a river and watching the water flow. You watch the flow of thoughts, feelings, ideas, and tendencies as they appear in the mind and go. It is a dynamic process of examining the flow of life, firmly established in the 'here and now'. Mindfulness is all about ‘knowing’ from a safe distance. You take the mental step backward from own desires, cravings and aversions so that you can just look and say, 'Oh, this is how things are and this is how I really am.' It is non-egotistic alertness which identify with nothing, likes nothing and dislikes nothing. There is no 'me' in a state of pure mindfulness. As opposed to the driving seat of a ‘doer’ you settle down in the backseat as a mere ‘watcher’ or ‘knower.’

How Mindfulness Benefits You

It leads to improvements in your cognitive functioning; you don’t over generalize (things are actually not that bad), you are aware but don’t react because you can tolerate unpleasant thoughts and feelings and enables you space to choose your response as opposed to habitual reactions. The practice of mindfulness relaxes the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) which is believed to be responsible for ‘nerve’ related health problems such as blood pressure, heart disease, digestive tract, chronic pain etc. It also promotes alpha brainwaves and increases heart/brain synchronization.

As we all know, with practise everything becomes easier. If you put time aside regularly to practice mindful meditation then you will be well equipped to deal with any ‘bad’ thoughts when they come to you.

Summary

Mindfulness gives you the real perspective and understanding of yourself. The state of mindfulness enables you to see yourself exactly as you are, you see your own selfish behaviour, and you clearly see how your likes and dislikes dictate your actions. You begin to realize how you hurt yourself and possibly others, and pierce through the layer of protection that you normally cover yourself with. You clearly see your vulnerable self behind the persona designed to protect yourself. You start to see things as they actually are, not what your 'perception' of them is. Your past no longer affects your present and you no longer spend your present worrying about your future. The net effect of such realizations is that mindfulness develops your wisdom.