It comes to us all. That panicky sense that all is not well. It might be at work, in the car, out with friends or family. The trigger could be anything from a traffic jam making you late or a much deeper sense of impending doom. The World feels somehow wrong, you feel 'wrong' - its called stress.
If left untreated the feelings build and momentum gathers. What started as a storm in a tea cup builds to a towering tornado and suddenly you're officially having a bad day. You snap at your partner or friends, yell at sluggish pedestrians from your car, drive erratically, shout at your computer or take some other dramatic course of action that you later regret. For some people, it plays over and over in their heads and they become obsessed by it. This is not healthy!
Stress accounts for millions of days missed from the workplace each year and may aggravate the risk of obesity, Alzheimers, heart disease, depression, anxiety and probably many other mental and physical health problems. Most sufferers feel helpless, caught like a fish on a hook, and long term sufferers are sadly so familiar with stress that it begins to feel like a perfectly normal state of mind - just 'life'.
I've spent the last few years researching many techniques from the worlds of psychology and the science of happiness and spirituality and have found the following few to be really helpful in reducing stress and anxiety fairly rapidly. They're easy to learn and can be done at home, in the office or even when stuck in a potentially stressful traffic jam!
1. 7/11 Breathing
This is breathing from your diaphragm - not your chest - so make sure the belly rises on your inhale. Count to 7 on the inhale and 11 on the exhale. This is because inhalation provokes the sympathetic nervous system while exhalation provokes the parasympathetic nervous system so practising this technique will tip the body towards relaxation rather than stress. This is a powerful technique used with great success by sufferers of panic attacks and anxiety disorders. It takes a little practise but the results are immediate and undeniable. It relaxes your emotional brain which has put you in a flight-or-fight state and enables you to become calm.
2. Accepting and Welcoming
This is a technique of Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism that I call 'accepting'. The idea is to become aware of whatever thought, emotion or situation is present and also notice any panicky feelings that may be present. Those panicky feelings represent half the problem - we are trying to escape the unpleasant situation and realise we can't - or think we can't. This causes stress. What if we just stay with the original feeling and don't try to escape from it? We say, 'Yes, I accept and welcome this feeling. It can do me no harm'. If we fully own our feelings then we have the power to do something about them. We accept and welcome each stressful moment, and the next one, and so on until we feel calmer and more in control. More than just a relaxation tool, this might be one of the most powerful spiritual tools ever. To be able to say 'Whatever is here I accept it without judgement' is very powerful. Try this the next time you feel a flicker of stress - you'll be amazed at what happens! It really does work if you simply allow your thoughts to be with you rather than fighting them.
3. Being More Mindful
This technique, like the last, is about not fighting your stressed feeling or painful thought and not trying to escape it. Hold it in your awareness and see what else is present. Notice the cup of coffee in front of you; so now you have the stressed/painful feeling plus the cup in front of you - hold them both in your awareness. What else is around you? The noise of the traffic outside or your housemate in the kitchen, the table in front of you, the chair you sit in, the smell of coffee, the trees through the window, the clouds in the sky, the feel of your clothes on your back, your feet on the carpet..........keep adding them all and notice how they ground you in the moment. Now when you look back on your problem while holding all this in your awareness you notice that it has shrunk! Not gone or glossed over, but now in a new perspective where it is no longer a big, bold headline in your mind.
4. The Counting Game
Counting is a classic mindfulness technique. Sit somewhere comfortable and focus fully on the number 1. Hold it in your mind for a full breath in and out. Now focus on the number 2, then 3, 4 and so on. If you find that for even a nano second you are focused on a thought and not a number, return to 1 and start again. You 'win' when you get to 10 without focusing on anything other than the number you are counting. By doing this you are achieving the state of being present and not fixated on the problem that was causing you stress or discomfort. Again this frees up your mind to explore a greater breadth of interpretations to your current reality - hopefully more positive ones!
5. Gratitude List
This is my favourite one. Gratitude has been known to improve mental strength and well-being and I can confirm from personal experience that it really works! (as do all of these points!) One way to practise gratitude is to pick a free 5 minutes, find a sheet of paper and a pen and start writing down all the things in your life that you are grateful for. These can be tangibles like a partner, children, friends, a job, house and food in your belly, but you can become as refined and obscure as you like. For example, you can include the fact that friendships even exist or that you live in an age of electricity, smartphones and aeroplanes. And you can wander into intricate details like the beautiful orange leaves on the autumn trees, the blue of the sky, the smell of a bonfire or freshly cut grass or the feel of the hot water around you when soaking in the bath. Its a good idea to try and keep a gratitude journal and write at least 3 things at the end of each day that you are grateful for. After a while, you'll soon feel very grateful for your life with its myriad of splendours and positivity and any stresses will be a fading memory.
I recommend building all of these techniques into your daily routine and see how your previous World of stress changes beyond recognition. Timing is everything - try to act when that first bit of unhappiness appears. Regular practise will not only help to reduce stress but will also help you take a big step on the road to self discovery and mastery, and the more we know ourselves - our real, inner selves - then the more we can help ourselves and live happy and peaceful lives.
